Friday, October 18, 2013
Hidden in small places
When one goes among the crypts and the mosaics, the chapels and the smaller churches here in Rome, one begins to get the sense that the presence of Christ- and the Lord Himself- lies in wait here for sensitives, souls who are prepared (through much prayer and suffering) to receive; and these hidden things are waiting to be given as hidden things.
There is, after all, a place in man and a place in woman that is a secret place of itself, one like the secret places of the earth, but put up higher in the soul where heaven can touch it in the right moments. And this place must never be shown to another; not man, not woman, not priest, not child and not even husband or wife. It is a place that one cannot ever speak of, and which even outward prayer—worthy though it may be— should not touch, for this place is as sacred as the most sacred places in all the churches and temples of the world. It is the place that must never be shown, never be spoken of; never be touched, and never be revealed.
One should not even touch it one's self. It is where silence begins.
It's into this place that God may come from time to time, as it so pleases Him, but only according to His Time and His Grace; not to mine, and not to the time and grace of the world, or the church, or the sangha or the ashram or foundation. This is the place vouchsafed by the soul to the Lord; and it must be held inviolable.
We don't understand this any more; it has been forgotten, and outwardness is touted, even by those who profess great inwardness. Inwardness itself has become a form of outwardness; and only a good hard look at one's life can make this clear enough. One must become willing enough to admit this, and feel an organic sense of shame. One must know that one isn't worthy enough to walk up and receive the Sacrament after it's blessed; know it in one's bones and suffer that.
Living in a world that makes a merit of forgetting shame is difficult; but here we are.
How should I pray?
For what should I pray?
I don't just think these things; they begin to live in my bones.
May your soul be filled with Light.